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I am moving slowly today, lethargic and dreary as the snow appears on my back porch.
Maybe it’s because I forgot to wear my watch. I’m out and about for two hours on this snowy Tuesday before I realize my mistake. And when I see my naked wrist, I am not the least bit fazed, which is unusual for me since I’m usually driven by time.
Right now I hear my friend David’s voice in my ear saying, “there are no coincidences.” David founded Kabbalah Experience, and I studied with him for a few years. Lately I’ve been examining old notes for my memoir, and wouldn’t you know I’ve stumbled upon whole pages about time:
Time does not impose itself on us. We create time.
We may strive towards that which is determined in life, but so much of life is indeterminate.
How do we get to that place of timelessness?
For reasons that I can’t fully explain, I’m dwelling in timelessness today. Random thoughts like Madonna’s staying power. I was in high school when she released her first album, and now look at me, still a fan of the Queen of Renewal almost (gulp) thirty years later. She came of age even before the Palm Pilot! I swear Madonna’s been on my mind on account of Sunday’s Super bowl performance and not Kabbalah, but you tell me if there really are “no coincidences.”
And then there is the roast chicken I plan to make this evening. When I close my eyes I step back into my grandmother’s linoleum green kitchen in Englewood, New Jersey circa 1980. You smelled it from the moment you set foot in her house. I still picture her leaning over the stove to baste one of her chickens, licking the gravy spoon for good measure before wiping the excess on the bottom of her apron. “Mmm, good,” she’d announce. “Come taste.” What I wouldn’t give to be at her table again.
Funny isn’t it that part of me was ruing the day for wasting time when really I have things to do. I might have lost productivity but I found much more.
Where are you in time today?